First off, Happy Holidays !

My time off has started off Good yet aloof (?) Not sure how to really describe it. To prep, I bought a lot of books.. like, 16 books (all used of course). I don't know if I'll get through them all but that's my goal. It's a bit far-fetched, but a girl can dream. I also bought three bottles of red cold ones to accompany the many cookies/chocolates I received from my boys friends and coworkers. I'm glad I can do this because I remember very clearly that I was horribly sick this time last year and it sucked.

Anyways, it's the 25th now, so before I gotta be all ~new year, new me~, here are some final xmas pics courtesy of the Hudson's Bay animated display windows:

sadness is a quiet fleeting from the surface but
it dwells in the cracks of our backbones,
molds into our foundation
builds us up from the core then
crumbles. ~

Tattoo this blank canvas

I'm thinking of getting a tattoo.. just a small piece, as a first. I've always wanted a lot of somethings, like a sleeve or at least a half-sleeve, but I don't think I can commit that much of my skin due to society and idk career prospects... But actually, being in the hospital, I've seen a few professionals with open tattoos (mostly sleeves) and it's not even a big deal.

One of my favorite tattooists from Korea is coming to guest at a shop here, so maybe this will be my opportunity to get one. He does really intricate flower line tattoos. I'm thinking of getting a lotus (because I've been obsessed with NANA since forever); or a rose because you can't go wrong with a rose.

I'll let this thought marinate here.

Christmas Market 2017

So my phone gave me the black screen of death this morning, but the cellular gods were on my side and granted me a second chance after trying to boot it up several times (also tearing open the back to check the internal battery-- umm i got desperate-- also because important memories such as vacation, birthdays and wedding pics).

What better time to dump some photos from the christmas market:

So I know what year it is.. 

(I have a habit of taking pics in portrait. Also my friend's camera phone is way superior quality.)

Staying out the shops

Instead of getting wrapped up in the Black Friday sales, I'll be relaxing and pampering myself this weekend. I have a cozy pajama set and face regime waiting for me (and also recently purchased Sims 4 (good bye real life)).

Ngl, it was hard not to browse and I did cave and buy a turtleneck from Kotn, but! 100% proceeds will go towards funding an education for children in Egypt.

Edit:

Matt & Nat Review: Gloria SM

Birthday month means Christmas gets to come early.

It's my first time ordering from Matt & Nat. I'm always happy to support Canadian businesses and I love that their products are vegan. 

I was stuck between getting the full size or small, but I settled for the small, Gloria SM because I figured I'd get more casual use out of it. I ordered on a Sunday and the order took two days to process and shipped out by Wednesday. Behold my new beloved~

I absolutely love it. The quality is great and it looks super chic. The zipper passed the smooth zip test. It comes with an adjustable shoulder strap as pictured above. Overall, I'm very happy with this purchase. The only 'complaint' I would have is the fact that it was shipped in a plastic bag. You can see some bending in the handle due to this but it's a small detail that can be fixed. I'll try to take some outfit posts to show the true size of the purse. You can basically fit a water bottle horizontally or a tablet. 

A change of audio

Recently, I have been growing really tired of listening to music (how? I don't know). So I started downloading podcasts and it's been really refreshing. It's also perfect for my two-hour round trip commute everyday. I'm currently subscribed to Radiolab and they have a lot of interesting stuff. There's something about listening to a podcast in the middle of the night, cruising through the empty streets, focusing on nothing but your own quiet and the streetlights (of course). You really get to immerse in the stories. It also doesn't hurt to learn something new. 

Radiolab

Playing God - Ngl, I teared up in empathy for the stories which reminded me about past events and how I shouldn't take life for granted. Anyways, this podcast was interesting nonetheless, learning about the triage and ultimately how messed up the idea of choosing who gets to live and who doesn't is.. 

Haunted - I am a suckerrrrr for horror. I used to be such a scaredy-cat but the adrenaline of jump scenes and dark imagery (i.e. Silent Hill, Insidious, Mirrors) won me over. I was looking for a thrilling podcast, and tbh, Haunted isn't supposed to be scary at all (I think). But I loved how the MCs(??) presented the story and it felt like a horror with the sound effects and playbacks from the event. 

Patient Zero - This one is about the history of Typhoid Mary (also another good one) and mapping out the origin of AIDS. Very cool stuff to learn about.

I'm hooked on all these feelings

Just wanted to share Hayley Kiyoko's new single! I love her music so much and what they stand for.

ALSO, counting down the days until Stranger Things 2! 

Green thumbing for greens

I love plants. I can tell this story again and again; of the specific moment in high school when I truly fell in love with science through ecology. It's not the path that I wanted as a career, but I knew that it would be a lustful hobby if anything. I was introduced to an Amaryllis and I thought it was the most beautiful flower I'd ever laid eyes on. Soon came succulents and cacti and from there, my affinity to plants and flowers have been ongoing.

For someone who really loves plants though, I have to admit that I am a below average to horrible planter. It seems like I don't have a knack for green thumbing which you would think is an easy feat (that's what I thought too..). For starters, I have tried multiple times to grow from an avocado pit. My very first attempt gave a little sprout, but after I transferred it to soil, it died. So I kept trying again and again but couldn't ever get a sprout until I realized my mistake of planting the seed upside down (duhhh). This time around, I have four pits so hopefully the chances of at least ONE sprout is there. Normally, I would separate each pit into their own container, but I got lazy so we'll see if my criss-cross makeshift works.

NieR: Automata

Finally got a chance to play Automata on PS4. Loved the first game and the "sequel" did not disappoint. The graphics were beyond amazing (my phone camera shot of the tv doesn't do justice). Gameplay was extremely fluid with few load points which made it an amazing continuous experience. 

The OST was beautiful and I loved  how clean the transitions from scene to scene were done. The OST was sang in a made-up language which I read was French-derived. Very cool stuff.

One of the cuter tracks: 

Project Positive

I have been trying to re-incorporate the basics of minimalism into my life these days. I've had lots of ideas; some that I set free into the world, and others that I will keep to myself for now. Overall, I want to stray from negative thoughts and be happy.

One of the common pieces of advice I hear from all these organizational or minimal-related sources is:  "Things that bring you happiness."  Whether it's keeping physical items that bring you happiness, or reminding yourself of the little things in life..

Not gonna lie, I have been unintentionally accumulating a lot of things. I have way too many make-up products, most of which I kept because the packaging is pretty. I have too much lounge wear because it feels necessary as an advocate of The Homebody Club. Stationary overflows from my work space and filing boxes. It's kind of..ridiculous. And I realized that none of it brings my happiness. This might sound stupid but I feel stressed thinking about it sitting there taking up space but I also don't want to waste anything. So my solution is to use everything as much as I can. What's the point of hoarding all this stuff when I can't fully appreciate the product?

It's a small step towards gaining my happiness but having an open living space is important to me. I'm also trying to blog more frequently because it used to bring me a lot of joy just typing endlessly to no one in particular. So I'll try that too.

Reading round-up from whenever the last one was.

Oh boy. I'm trying so hard to read these days but can only make it through a few pages before getting distracted. I barely scraped by these gems.

Tea tree and me because it rhymes.

Welcome back.. said myself. I was trying to think of something relate-able and note-worthy to post but fuck it, I guess. Honestly speaking, life has been feeling like a waste. I'm in a job that pays the bills, is partly relevant to what I studied, is comfortable, but not where I want to ultimately end at. My nerves have been bad. I feel like I'm a ship with the anchor out dragging along the ocean floor as I'm trying to navigate and brave the currents. I had three panic attacks in one week, all while driving. I'm good at handling them so I wouldn't have endangered anyone on the road.. but it never gets old at the same time. I'm making active changes in my life to perhaps have a healthier lifestyle, but I feel like I've also tossed a lot of good, old habits out the window which is making me clam up inside. 

One of the minute changes is transitioning to tea tree products. Aside from the warm, minty scent that I love, tea tree is a natural antiseptic and it worked wonders soothing my skin from patches of psoriasis. A lot of these brands are vegan or cruelty-free or fair trade so that is an added bonus! So far, I've trieda variety of shower products by Paul Mitchell, The Body Shop, and most recently, Dr. Bronner's. Interestingly, the Dr. Bronner's liquid soap claims to be 18-in-1, from shampoo to toothpaste to laundry or dish detergent. I've only used it as a shampoo (I also bought the conditioner to replace my current product when it's finished) so I can't vouch for any of the other purposes but the more you know ..! 

Hmm, I didn't mean for the post to go this way but there it is. 

Getting back into the flow of things

Hello, it's been a while. Since my last post; no, I did not make it to New York. New York came to me (as family and friends). I attended a wedding ceremony, took some time to admire mother nature, and basically enjoyed the torrential downpour the rest of the weekend. After all this, I realized it always takes me time to adjust back to normality. Especially when it comes to my internet.. stuff? Idk. Checking emails, updating socials, reading blogs, going through my Youtube queue (which has grown immensely), reading entertainment-related blogs, etc. I've had this routine ever since I could remember, and today I kind of realized that I don't like the same things I used to. I'm still reading about the same celebs/idols that adored when I was younger out of habit, and it's kind of a waste of time. Also with socials like Instagram or Snapchat, I find it so much easier to directly keep up with faves rather than gossip or third-party sites which can be negative. So that is one thing I can cut down. 

Enjoy some images of my nature walk. I love greenery so much. It makes me feel calm and peaceful. 

Book review

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

I finally, finally finished this book! I have been in such a reading slump, partly because this novel was boring yet insightful which is why I refused to quit reading it. I am glad I got to the end because the analysis was interesting.

IMLVH Jewelry

'Stellar' necklace by IMLVH

Since I'm going for this conscientious-consumer thing, my first jewelry purchase with IMLVH was a perfect start. I have been looking forward to my handmade chain choker all week and it was well worth the wait. I've always wanted a chain necklace without it looking too over-sized (although I am tempted to get the 'Super Stellar'). The length is actually perfect for me. I can wear it tight as a choker, or loosen it a bit and wear it as a dainty short necklace.

Getting lost in books.

Blast to the past.

I buy a lot of secondhand books, but since my bookshelf is busting at the wood-seams, I thought I'd hit up my local library. I haven't been there in almost a decade. I found my old library card (I'm working on my hoarding habits), but it was expired so I made a new one. It's funny because I went in to pick up my physical card, only to leave a second later because the book I wanted was an e-book. I'm slowly getting over my reading slump so hopefully I can finally finish my current one and get on to some good ones.

Feels like spring.

// Changed up the theme again. I've been really liking pink this month, so we'll see how long it lasts. Also moved my nav-links up top again because my header was feeling lonely. //

Bits of Inspiration

A dream is not something that you wake up from, but something that wakes you up.
- Charlie Hedges

Every morning, I like to wake up to a quote, so I downloaded an app for my phone. Not only does it remind me to reflect in the morning, it is also really helpful for lifting my mood. When I'm feeling down or discouraged, I'll read quotes throughout the day.

I used to be someone who thought quotes were cheesy or ineffective, but my opinion has changed a bit. I love the inspiration and the mindset it puts me in.

//

Another inspiration bit is: this article.
I know nothing about electrics but I think this is amazing. I always loved working with bacteria and this can be so useful. Bacteria is everywhere, and it could be an interesting integration to remote communities that don't have access to sources of energy that we do. Not sure to what degree this would affect any symbiotic relationships between bacterial-local environments on a large scale, but it's definitely something that's plausible (i.e. bioreactor systems).

I know one thing; that I know nothing.

Oh hello again blog. I have been adjusting to my new schedule now that I am working full time and self-studying not-so-part time, while still trying to maintain my sanity and have some fun. So far, I am enjoying my new job a lot. I love that I am learning all kinds of new things. Exposure to the industry is still nerve-wracking to me, but I know that I will ease into it eventually.

I have been so bad with my reading. I am still at the same point of my book since my last round-up.. I'm hitting a reader's block with Crime and Punishment, so I may end up starting a fresh novel to change it up a bit. Nothing more to report, other than the lovely rain we've been getting.

Accepting Rejection

My past experiences always lead me to bury any rejections. Consequently, the process removed the idea of challenging myself, of pursuing my passions, and trying to obtain my goals. Fear held me back, so for me, it took time to accept my rejections. I had to understand and change my mindset to not dwell on the failures, to learn from mistakes, and lastly, be grateful for what I had. This allowed me to pick up the pieces and to keep moving on.

I always had the mentality that failure was not okay. But rather, I should have approached failure as trial and error-- a step towards success, as long as I allowed myself to build on those experiences and to not stagnate because of fear.

I wanted to share this TEDTalk about rejection because no matter how many failures I may encounter, it's always a good reminder to know it's not so bad. 

Books from January 2017

First book compilation of the year!

Night sky gradient.

Habits

I hope that everyone has had a great start to the new year so far. As for myself, I would say I am optimistic and trying to stay pro-active about my goals.

I started reading The Trial by Franz Kafka after completing Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami. I was going to write a review but I think I might just compile monthly favorites/likes because I'm not very good at rating. I either like it or hate it. And anything in between is often an unmemorable read which isn't even worth having feeelz.

I got back on my week day work out routine. I used to focus all on leg workouts because it was the easiest (imo) and the butt burns (from squats) feel good. But I SUPPOSE I need to have a good balance, so I've integrated cardio (light jog with thirty second bursts) and light bench pressing.

I might pull out my Japanese workbook this week.. Who knows.

Happy New Years

First thing; I changed my layout. The previous was short-lived and I really liked it, but the highlighter yellow started getting on my nerves so I simplified ever further.

Although the new year doesn't actually motivate me to follow through with my resolutions, I always like putting it out into the universe because you never know.

1. Focus deeply on ideas. Over time, I grew lethargic towards goals, hobbies, or interests. I know the reason behind it, so now that I am gaining back my strength, I hope to use that energy to focus on the ideas that I used to loved. Like embodying the idea of an aspiring M.D. and revisiting musical hobbies. 
2. Write in a journal. I stopped writing exactly 8 months ago. Partly because I was busy but also because it was replaced by social media. I miss the inconvenience (yes) of writing because it gave me time to introspect before it spilled out of me. 
3. Do healthy things. This includes eating better, exercising and keeping a positive outlook. You see, I have this yoga mat that has graduated with me through uni until now. It was handy for taking study breaks, when I told myself I'd do a little exercise but actually had short naps; then I moved home and now it's sitting in my room, rolled and upright, serving as a temporary hat rack... I reckon it's time to put it to actual use.
4. Be Bold. Corny as this sounds, I need to do exactly that. I'm good at putting up fronts when I need to but majority of my decisions are low-risk because I like being in my safety zone. But I decided in order for #1 to follow through, I would have to be #4.