Hoarders inc.

For some reason my space never feels clean.. no matter how much I clean.. and I Love to clean and cleanse; the latter is a bit harder because items get sentimental and blah blah. I tried Marie Kondo a few months back, but I still felt like I couldn't truly let go of everything. Maybe it's the new glasses I recently bought, but things have been changing. I've been noticing more and more of my hoarding tendencies and what an organized mess I was in.. or more like organized garbage. All this time I had the illusion that I was living in the kind of minimal, carefree space I yearn for but there was always this twinge of stress whenever I carefully examined my surroundings and I see it now. I see it!! 

One of my more 'shameful habits' was collecting receipts that date back to 2009. Most of them aren't even legible because the ink wore out. Why I kept them? I don't know. Maybe it was an early method for budgeting when I started earning my own money as teen.. which I think I did a horrible job at lol. It's a pretty bizarre contrast from how reserved in shopping I am now.. Good change though. 

Next up.. shoe boxes, crafts and beauty products. I daresay books because I'm still passionately collecting physical copies and it's always been my dream to own a personal library.. but we'll see. 


I love Sabrina Claudio. Her voice is so ethereal. If I walked through life as a broadcast, About Time would perfectly describe my inner thoughts as an opening theme like how it perfectly intros the rest of the album. I'd be sitting by a window sipping some hot tea staring out at the view; in my home it's a city but outside it's breathtaking and you can see rolling hills and green for days. the steam from my cup rises and fades the screen to white. mhm


memory recollection and in turn...

Before I forget, I stumbled on this documentary about people who have the ability to remember events down to the very year, month and day. It's incredible. Some days my memory really sucks and here are people who can recall the weather or event that happened years back. It really makes me think about how their neurons fire compare to an average brain, or how these memories connect in their brains so quickly. I thought it was really cool how they did the brain scans to show how he used parts of his visual brain that people don't access. I wonder if the rapid recollection of memory would have a similar profile as those who are pathological liars, because I remember reading this study (1 | 2 ) discussing increased white matter and how it allowed them to jump into creating "stories"/lies so quickly (although the study is more conclusive on personality types rather than the wiring of the brain).

I definitely felt for Jill though. I don't think I would want to recall all memories especially through the downs of life. I'm already a mess as a pretty average person lol and every so often when I'm overthinking moments of my life, choices I've made, or even dealing with anxiety, it gets rough. Even the small stupid stuff make me cringe. So to have to go through all the memories in detail is triggering. She said that she went through depressive phases, and damn, it must've been a vicious cycle..

The human body never fails to amaze me. That's cliche and a known fact, but sometimes I take it for granted and when I learn about stuff like this, it reminds me how quirky our bodies are; these living cells that function, our conscience, the connection... yeah that's another discussion. But basically, Being Alive is pretty cool, gotta remember to live life even if I'm #marriedtothehustle and be amazed with what we can achieve and what the rest of the world has in store.